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annette
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Ive been thinking about making a new site on nekoweb for my irl acc on insta though i'm not going to mention it here which acc lol its just my about me and interests thingy. I still love my neocities site though! i'm planning to make a resource page there!!
a page that share codes and graphics there!! i won't forget to link them and credit them too!! 
Lately i feel tired. Not physically but mentally .. i'm tired of bein asked things that consider too personal. ppl always said "but we're care about you!," but sometimes caring doesnt mean pushing someone TO TALK when they're NOT ready. There are things i want to keep for myself not bcs i domt trust them, but bcs i need time or maybe bcs some feelings are too complicated to explain. Yet they keep asking, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, as if silence means im hiding something bad. I wish they're understand that privacy isnt distance. Sometimes i just need space not questions, not assumptions, just quiet and understanding. If i want to share, I will. But not when im forced to and share my privacy to everyone else...
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about him. I like him, I really do. But deep inside, I know I can’t just follow my feelings blindly. I’m still in school, and in Islam, love before marriage, dating isn’t allowed. Not because Allah wants to make things hard for us, but because He wants to protect us. He loves us too much to let us fall into sins, even in small ways through our eyes, our thoughts, or our hearts. Sometimes it hurts. I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want him to carry a sin because of me. I wish I could tell him that this is not rejection, this is care.
I care enough to keep both our hearts safe. One day, I want to be a good wife, a sholehah wife. The kind of woman who reminds her husband gently, “That’s not allowed, love. This is haram. Allah doesn’t like that.” Not to control him, but to walk together toward Jannah. I don’t want a love that drags me away from Allah. I want a love that brings me closer to Him. And if that means waiting, then I’ll wait. Sometimes he doesn’t understand. Maybe he thinks I don’t like him just because I said I can’t date. But it’s not that. I like him that’s exactly why I can’t do what’s haram. It’s confusing, it’s painful, but it’s also peaceful knowing that I’m trying to do what’s right. If he’s really meant for me, Allah will bring him back in the right way, in the right time. And if not, that’s okay too. Allah never takes something away unless He plans to replace it with something better. For now, I’ll just keep guarding my heart, keeping it clean. Because I don’t want to love in secret.. I want to love in the light, with Allah’s blessing. I don’t want a forbidden love. I want a love that’s pure, patient, and halal.
yesterday i made a painting on a tote bag its so difficult omggg the textrure is harsh so its hard to paint it but with a help from my art tutor i can finally finished that also this tote bag is for my history teacher yes its for an additional value assignment i need to make it bcs i dont want my score is low on history subject
i dont like history subject tbh i prefer sociology and economy subject... i dont want my mom to see my score if thats low tbh.... also next week i will be given my mid semester report card GOTTA CRY RNNN also lets get back into the main topic.... its really difficult but fun but ts is so stressing omgggg i would recommend you to paint on the tote bag but make sure the tote bag is a canvas texture and make sure you have plenty paint and not the dry one because we have to use a lot of paint for that so the color show up!!!! 
this is just a test ;-;